“It is the last and greatest taboo of the western world – our fear of death and dying … we are afraid of death, we deny it, we are even ashamed of it.

Death is one of the greatest taboos. It doesn’t square with our worship of youth. But the truth, after all, is that we are all terminally ill. Once we recognise that, we can enjoy the life we have left.” (Elizabeth Kubler Ross. 1982)

Please visit a doctor.
https://111.nhs.uk/

Aspects of loss.

1. Loss is common to us all.

2. We all move through it in our unique way.

3. There are different forms of loss, which fall into two main categories.

a. Anticipated loss.
b. Unexpected loss.

4. It can be financial, redundancy (particularly where our identity has been wrapped up in what we do), or the loss of a loved one.

5. It is important to normalise much of the feelings associated with loss and reassure the person suffering the loss that what they are feeling is quite normal and understandable.

When does loss become a problem?

Loss may become a problem when the grieving process is interrupted and the person may become quite stuck, this may result in a complex grief reaction.

This can become noticeable when, through the passage of time, the sufferer has not been able to move on. It is at this point that other options need to be considered in terms of support and help for the individual.

 

Managing Loss
Bereavement Counselling – The Process.

Stage 1.
Opening and initial assessment.
Set the scene.
Establish a rapport.
Create a safe atmosphere of honesty and trust.
Hear the history prior to the death.
Hear the death.
Hear the present.

Stage 2.
Grief work and ongoing assessment.

Identify and clarify problems.
Address practical issues.
Work through the pain of grief.
Grieve secondary losses.
Deal with anger and guilt.
Explore dependency needs.
Deal with regrets.
Unfinished business.
Determine choices.
Set short- and long-term goals.

Stage 3.
Coming through.
Accept reality.
Make plans for the future
Come to terms with the loss.
Withdraw emotional investment from the deceased.
Resume an involvement in life.
Achieve independence.
Establish new emotional ties.
Say goodbye.
Move on.
Further Reading.

Bowlby J 1980 ‘Attachment and Loss. Volume III. Basic Books: New York.

Leick N, Davidsen – Nielsen M 1991 ‘Healing Pain.’ Routledge: London

Worden J 1982 ‘Grief Counselling and Grief Therapy’ Tavistock: London